What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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