I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
