No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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