Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
