had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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