ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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