As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
