i just had sex bonerless
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
