Porn is love you can see.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
