Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
ttyl tear gas
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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