At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
