Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
