Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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