We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
