Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
