oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
