Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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