White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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