We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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