it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he puts the penis in happiness.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
