At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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