Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
