it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Randomize
