I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
