i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
