I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
