I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Houston, we have a squirter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
