summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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