just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
