shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
