And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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