i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
