Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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