i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
