I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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