Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
