i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
