She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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