yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So much rum. So many feels.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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