Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
