Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
