$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize