I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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