My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
