Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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