A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
