oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize