So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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