wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
handjob tips. give me some.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
