So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
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