Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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