i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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