You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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