oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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