You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I understand Curling. That high.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
