Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
