Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
