If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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