how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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