I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize