We got so high we made milksteak
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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