What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it's like heaven, but drunker
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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