Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
