dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
