Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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