The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We got so high we made milksteak
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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