All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
