I just saw a hot homeless man
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
