My Higher Power is John Stamos
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
