im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
dude. I can hear the air.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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