I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
