He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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