I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I wish I only lived at night.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
