Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
is it fun? or sober?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
