If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
this just has baby written all over it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
