We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
