big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
